You Can Do More

June 24th of this year marked the beginning of one of the most remarkable journeys of my life. 16 years ago our family became the adoptive parents of a bubbly, sparkling 2 year old girl. Who knew that someone so little could turn our world completely upside down! Here we were a quiet family of 3, a mom, a dad and a son. Emphasis is on the word quiet. Our son was entering the pre-adolescent stage where interactions with parents were very low on his list of priorities. You know the scenario, homework, dinner and a long evening of Nintendo and talking on the phone with friends. My husband and I were not much better, as a musician he was always practicing for the next gig and I had just returned to college to work on my Masters in Social Work. So usually the only noise you heard in our house was the sounds of a flute coming from the basement, or the refrigerator door opening when our son came out of the room for a snack or the turning of pages while I studied for the next test!

While this scene seems pretty tranquil, we all realized that there was a void in our life. Something was missing. We had been blessed with so much and yet every day we were faced with the question of what were we doing for others? All of our family worked in professions that served others; we were social workers, teachers, ministers, nurses, soldiers and sailors. Our purpose was to make a difference in the world and while we went out each day to do just that, there was this small voice that was saying “you can do more”!

As soon as the decision was made we realized that this was the “more” that we had been called to do! We began the process of learning all we could about adoption. We completed pre-service training and submitted all of the required documents necessary to become approved by our state. We also worked closely with our social worker during the home visits and home study process. We learned so much about ourselves and our abilities during our family preparation. As an adoption social worker, I had a unique opportunity to view adoption from the “inside out “and it has made all the difference in my own work with families adopting from a child from the child welfare system. After a period of waiting, this introverted family had the awesome blessing and responsibility of loving and caring for an outgoing two year old. What a match, but truly a match made just for us! She has given us more joy then we can ever know; she has made a difference in our lives and all who know her. And to think that our desire to make a difference in the life of someone else could end up being the best gift that we were ever given!

Has this sixteen year journey been easy? Of course not, but those opportunities that we truly treasure do not come to us with ease. It has at times been an uphill climb, but I have never looked back down the mountain and wondered, “Why”? I have asked “How” and the response has always been “You can do more”! The need for adoptive families for waiting children is great everyday for the more than 130,000 children are waiting across the nation for a permanent family. Won’t you join my family and scores of others in answering the call? “We CAN do more”!

For information about special needs adoption in Indiana contact www.adoptuskids.org

For information general information on adoption contact the Dave Thomas Foundation @ www.davethomasfoundation.org or AdoptUSKids @ www.adoptuskids.org

Alfreda D. Singleton-Smith , MSW LSW

Substance Abuse

Although there has been a decrease in the prevalence of substance abuse in our society, it still continues to be a very serious issue, and one which plays a pivotal role in the area of child maltreatment. For several years now, substance use has been one of the primary contributing factors in terms of child maltreatment deaths. When a parent or caregiver becomes impaired, their ability to drive, supervise appropriately, discipline appropriately, etc. all become a challenge…or worse…deadly. Drownings, car accidents, and positional asphyxiation are all consequences that some children have endured due to their caregivers’ impairments from substance use. Ideally, no one would be in a position where they are abusing drugs or alcohol. However, we know that we have a long road ahead before that is no longer an issue. We implore caregivers then, to please not use substances while caring for children. It impairs judgment, awareness, and the ability to control impulses. It is especially imperative to not drive while using drugs or alcohol, and to not co-sleep with infants due to the high probability of rolling over and suffocating the baby.

Substance abuse prevention must start early…before children even start to school. Not only does there need to be a dialogue about the dangers of using drugs and alcohol, but parents and caregivers must also always be providing loving and nurturing environments and environments where the lines of communication are always kept open. Parents need to become involved in their children’s lives…know who their friends are; know who they’re on-line with; know where they are. Children do not need their parents to be their friends; they need them to be their protectors and the people who provide appropriate guidance.

Shelby's Not Breathing

A powerful reminder about safe sleep practices.

Having a Safe and Fun Halloween

Here are a few safety tips from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission to protect children who plan to go trick-or-treating this Halloween.

Treats: Warn children not to eat any treats before an adult has carefully examined them for evidence of tampering.

Flame Resistant Costumes: When purchasing a costume, masks, beards, and wigs, look for the label Flame Resistant. Although this label does not mean these items won't catch fire, it does indicate the items will resist burning and should extinguish quickly once removed from the ignition source. To minimize the risk of contact with candles or other sources of ignition, avoid costumes made with flimsy materials and outfits with big, baggy sleeves or billowing skirts.

Costume Designs: Purchase or make costumes that are light and bright enough to be clearly visible to motorists. For greater visibility during dusk and darkness, decorate or trim costumes with reflective tape that will glow in the beam of a car's headlights. Bags or sacks should also be light colored or decorated with reflective tape. Reflective tape is usually available in hardware, bicycle, and sporting goods stores.

To easily see and be seen, children should also carry flashlights.

Costumes should be short enough to prevent children from tripping and falling.

Children should wear well-fitting, sturdy shoes. Mother's high heels are not a good idea for safe walking.

Hats and scarves should be tied securely to prevent them from slipping over children's eyes.

Apply a natural mask of cosmetics rather than have a child wear a loose-fitting mask that might restrict breathing or obscure vision. If a mask is used, however, make sure it fits securely and has eyeholes large enough to allow full vision.

Swords, knives, and similar costume accessories should be of soft and flexible material.

Pedestrian Safety: Young children should always be accompanied by an adult or an older, responsible child. All children should WALK, not run from house to house and use the sidewalk if available, rather than walk in the street. Children should be cautioned against running out from between parked cars, or across lawns and yards where ornaments, furniture, or clotheslines present dangers.

Choosing Safe Houses: Children should go only to homes where the residents are known and have outside lights on as a sign of welcome.

Children should not enter homes or apartments unless they are accompanied by an adult.

People expecting trick-or-treaters should remove anything that could be an obstacle from lawns, steps and porches. Candlelit jack-o'-lanterns should be kept away from landings and doorsteps where costumes could brush against the flame. Indoor jack-o'-lanterns should be kept away from curtains, decorations, and other furnishings that could be ignited.

From the Consumer Product Safety Commission

School Bus Safety

BUS STOP: Your child’s bus stop should be in an area that is well lit, easily accessible, and away from traffic. If you live in an area where there is heavy snowfall, make sure that the stop is sufficiently free of snow, ice and related debris.

CLOTHING: Children should be wearing bright colored clothing, especially if waiting for the bus before sunrise or getting home after dark. Place removable reflective tape on their outer garments including on their hats and coats.

Boarding: Teach your children to stand back away from the curb and to remain there until the bus has completely stopped and the driver opens the door to board. Teach them to board the bus in an orderly manner, without pushing or shoving and be seated immediately.

SEATING: Virtually all school buses DO NOT come equipped with seatbelts, nor are seats strong enough to resist impact in the event of a crash. Teach your children to be seated at all times. Face the front of the bus and keep their feet in front of them rather than out in the aisles. Staying directly behind the seat in front of you protects you in case of an accident.

IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT: Teach your children various brace positions to prepare for the possibility of an accident. Learn optional exit strategies including using the emergency door or windows.

AWARENESS OF WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND THEM: Teach your children to be aware of the traffic in the area; to be constantly looking both ways as they cross streets; and to never walk behind the school bus. Teach them the DANGER ZONES: Behind the bus, where the driver cannot see them or in front of the bus where the driver cannot see them unless they are ten feet or three giant steps in front. The driver should be able to see them and they should see the driver.

A bus driver needs to be able to hear emergency vehicles, trains at railroad crossings, and other emergencies that might arise during the bus route. Children need to understand the importance of obeying the school bus rules and the consequences that could result.

You can keep your children safe by raising their awareness of potential hazards while the rest of us can make school bus safety a priority by obeying the rules of the road. Let’s make the rest of this school year a safe one.

What's the 411 About 211?

Prevent Child Abuse Indiana has sponsored a telephone information line since the mid 1990s. Initially 1-800-CHILDREN (1-800-244-5373) was answered by PCA Indiana staff. Unfortunately, that limited the times we could answer the line to “office hours.” It became clear that people need assistance at all hours of the day and night, and are often uncomfortable leaving a voice mail message.

Last year PCA Indiana worked out an agreement with the Central Indiana 211 Center, also known as Connect2Help. Anytime you call 1-800-CHILDREN now, the line will be answered by Connect2Help staff.

Their highly trained specialists answer the 1-800-CHILDREN line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Connect2Help always has Spanish-speaking staff available, and uses a translation service for callers who need assistance in other languages.

Connect2Help has a database of over 60,000 programs and services and can assist callers in finding the resources they need.

The resource database is also posted online, and is available to the general public at www.connect2help.org. Click on the link to the left labeled “Search our Database.” You will find a wealth of information about agencies, programs and services to meet a variety of needs.

Staying Healthy

Families all have a goal to be healthy! Health is something we all may take for granted, but it takes effort to assure everyone in the family is staying as healthy as they can.

Some basic steps toward preventative measures are so important, such as: 8 hours of sleep, plus naps, laughter, vitamins, handwashing, and eating plenty of fruits and veggies. Brushing teeth 2 times a day, flossing once and visiting the dentist 2 times a year are all basic requirements.

Taking care of our mental health is just as important as taking care of our physical needs. Just getting the basics done is a feat worth celebrating!

Other more controversial topics may also be requirements for your family. Immunizations and flu shots may be discussed with your doctor.

Paying for all these services is a whole other topic, isn’t it? Many states are offering health coverage for children of all ages. Please check with your state to see what services are being offered!

*Remember caregivers, you need to take care of YOU too! Regularly scheduled “fun breaks” need to be in place for you, as well as taking care of your physical and mental health.