PCAIN 2012 Breaking the Cycle Conference

Each year, Prevent Child Abuse Indiana works hard to bring together experts in the field of child abuse prevention and provide informational, motivational and educational sessions for its annual "Breaking the Cycle Conference". Mark your calendars now for April 3rd for what promises to be a great event! This year's theme is "Cherishing Children, Raising Hope" and it will bring Educational Cons...ultant Dr. Ray Golarz and Inspirational Educator & Author Stacey Bess to the conference as the keynote speakers. This year, the event will be held at the Hilton Indianapolis North Hotel. The complete brochure and online registration is available on our website ~ www.pcain.org Your staff may need CEU’s – this year we are offering to the LSW’s and LCSW’s FREE CEU’s. But for those that just need training hours -- Training certificates will be available at the conference. If you are not interested or unable to attend and know someone who might be interested, please feel free to forward this message to them.

Parenting Teens

You can help your teen between the ages of 15 and 18 years by using basic parenting strategies. These include offering open, positive communication while providing clear and fair rules and consistent guidance. Support your teen in developing healthy habits and attitudes, help him or her make wise choices, and offer guidance in how to balance responsibilities. The following are examples of ways to promote healthy growth and development in specific areas. But remember that many growth and development issues overlap. For example, having a healthy body image is important for physical development and emotional development. Use these ideas as a starting point to help your teen make good choices that will help him or her grow into a healthy and happy adult. Promote your teen's physical development by doing the following: • Be aware of changing sleep patterns. Rapidly growing and busy teens need a lot of sleep. The natural sleeping pattern for many teens is to go to bed later at night and sleep in. This can make it hard to get up for school. To help your teen get enough rest, discourage phone and computer use and TV watching after a certain evening hour. Sleep: Helping Your Children-and Yourself-Sleep Well • Teach your teen how to take care of his or her skin. Most young people get at least mild acne. Help your teen manage acne with daily facial care and, if needed, medicines. Also have your teen avoid sunbathing and tanning salons. Sunburn can damage a child's skin for a lifetime and put him or her at risk for skin cancer. Studies suggest that UV rays from artificial sources such as tanning beds and sunlamps are just as dangerous as UV rays from the sun. For more information, see the topics Acne and Skin Cancer, Melanoma. • Talk about body image. What teens think about their bodies greatly affects their feelings of self-worth. Stress that healthy eating and exercise habits are most important for the short and long term. Help your teen recognize that television and other media often produce unrealistic images of the ideal body that are not healthy. For more information, see the topic Anorexia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder, or Depression in Children and Teens. • Help your teen choose healthy foods. By eating a wide variety of basic foods, your teen can get the nutrients he or she needs for normal growth. And he or she will be well-nourished. Help your teen choose healthy snacks, make wise food choices at fast food restaurants, and not skip meals, especially breakfast. Make a point to eat as many meals together at home as possible. A regular mealtime gives you and your family a chance to talk and relax together. It also helps you and your child to have a positive relationship with food. For more information, see the topic Healthy Eating for Children. • Offer strategies to avoid tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. Set firm, fair, and consistent limits for your child. Help him or her understand the immediate and long-lasting results of substance use, such as falling grades and poor health during adulthood. Practice how to respond when a harmful substance is offered, such as simply stating "No, thanks" and moving on to another subject. If you believe your teenager is using drugs or alcohol, it is important to talk about it. Discuss how he or she gets the alcohol, tobacco, or drugs and in what kind of setting it is used. Seek advice from a doctor if the behavior continues. Promote your teen's healthy emotional and social development by doing the following: • Address problems and concerns. Build trust gradually so your teen will feel safe talking with you about sensitive subjects. When you want to talk with your teen about problems or concerns, schedule a "date" in a private and quiet place. Knowing when and how to interfere in a teen's life is a major ongoing challenge of parenthood. Parents walk a fine line between respecting a teen's need for independence and privacy and making sure that teens do not make mistakes that have lifelong consequences. • Understand the confusion about sexual orientation and gender identity. Sexuality is a core aspect of identity. Hormones, cultural and peer pressures, and fear of being different can cause many teens to question themselves in many areas, including sexual orientation. It is normal during the teen years to have same-sex "crushes." Consider mentioning to your teen that having such an attraction does not mean that these feelings will last. But it is helpful to acknowledge that in some cases, these feelings grow stronger over time rather than fade. • Encourage community service. Both your teen and community members are helped when your teen volunteers. Your teen gets the chance to explore how he or she connects with others. While helping peers, adults, and other people, your teen can gain new skills and new ways of looking at things. He or she can also develop and express personal values and explore career options. Your teen can benefit most by thinking back on the service experience and figuring out what he or she learned from it. • Help your child build a strong sense of self-worth to help him or her act responsibly, cooperate well with others, and have the confidence to try new things. Promote your teen's mental (cognitive) development by doing the following: • Encourage mature ways of thinking. Involve your teen in setting household rules and schedules. Talk about current issues together, whether it be school projects or world affairs. Listen to your teen's opinions and thoughts. Brainstorm different ways to solve problems, and discuss their possible outcomes. Stress that these years provide many opportunities to reinvent and improve themselves. • Offer to help your teen set work and school priorities. Make sure your teen understands the need to schedule enough rest, carve out study time, eat nourishing foods, and get regular physical activity. • Be goal-oriented instead of style-oriented. Your teen may not complete a task the way you would. This is okay. What is important is that the task gets done. Let your teen decide how to complete work, and always assume that he or she wants to do a good job. • Continue to enjoy music, art, reading, and creative writing with your teen. For example, encourage your teen to listen to a variety of music, play a musical instrument, draw, or write a story. These types of activities can help teens learn to think and express themselves in new ways. Teens may discover a new or stronger interest, which may help their self-esteem. Remind your teen that he or she doesn't need to be an expert. Simply learning about and experimenting with art can help your teen think in more abstract ways and pull different concepts together. Promote your teen's sensory and motor development by doing the following: • Encourage daily exercise. Vigorous exercise, such as running, biking, or playing soccer or basketball, helps your teen to stay lean and to have a healthy heart.1 Vigorous exercise also helps your teen feel good. If your child is not used to exercise, be careful about expecting too much too soon. Overdoing it at first can make your teen feel tired or discouraged or can even cause injury. Help your teen to build up an exercise routine slowly. For example, plan a short daily walk to start. This approach can help your teen gain confidence and make him or her more likely to keep exercising. Violence and teens • Prevent teen violence by being a good role model. It's important to model and talk to your child about healthy relationships, because dating abuse is common among teens. For example, talk calmly during a disagreement with someone else. Help your teen come up with ways to defuse potentially violent situations, such as making a joke or acknowledging another person's point of view. Praise him or her for avoiding a confrontation. You might say "I'm proud of you for staying calm." Also, to help your child limit exposure to violence, closely supervise the Web sites and computer games that he or she uses. For more information on teen violence, see the topics Bullying, Domestic Abuse, and/or Anger, Hostility, and Violent Behavior. • Reduce the risk of teen suicide and recognize the warning signs. If your teen shows signs of depression, such as withdrawing from others and being sad much of the time, try to get him or her to talk about it. Call your doctor if your teen ever mentions suicide or if you are concerned for his or her safety. INFORMATION FROM WEBMD

Healthy Teeth, Happy Babies

The experts are learning SO MUCH about how our WHOLE BODIES are affected by our TEETH AND GUMS! Our teeth and gum health may impact our risk of heart disease, poor memory, pneumonia, lung conditions, arthritis, diabetes, preterm and low birth weight babies. (That’s a “mouthful!”) Adults set the example for their children. Adults must take care of their teeth, and teach children how to care for their own. It’s paramount for life-long, healthy living! Here are some quick tips from the “Teeth Pros” for the wee people: 1. If possible, take children to a pediatric dentist. They’re experts in children’s teeth issues! 2. Take your baby to the dentist when they get their first tooth, or by their 1st birthday. 3. Their baby teeth must be brushed! Although they will fall out, they “set the stage” for problems if not brushed. Plus you’re starting good habits early. Use a children’s toothpaste during those early years. Check with your dentist or pediatrician prior to graduating to fluoride toothpaste. That’s not usually recommended until after they know how to spit. 4. The 1,2,3 RULE. Little one’s should drink these liquids with this rule in mind: 1 juice, 2 milks, 3 waters a Day. This should be emphasized with their sitters as well. 5. Thumb sucking and pacifiers are great “self soothing tools” when children are babies. Hopefully weaning of these can be done around 2 ½ or 3 years. (Encouragement and patience help too. Remember, they’ll out-grow it. There aren’t too many adults out there still sucking their thumbs) 6. Remember, keeping teeth clean for as long a period of time as possible is the goal. So brushing after breakfast, and the last thing before bed are great. Yeah, these tips are great reminders of life-long practices for healthy teeth, gums, and overall healthier bodies! But kids aren’t perfect, especially with their teeth, so patience is important and diligence pays off! Excerpt from WebMD, Inc. WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Let's B U I L D a Healthy Kid!

Did you know some social scientists believe that EVERY SENTENCE we say to a child impacts his or her development? Wow, pretty heavy stuff. Fostering a kid’s self-esteem needs to be a goal for all of us. It is one of the best and most important gifts we give a child. Self-esteem is a person’s core belief about himself/herself. A healthy self-esteem will help a child make good decisions throughout a lifetime. (We should acknowledge that self-esteem is a life-long process that may fluctuate throughout one’s life.) Professionals agree that parents/caregivers can foster children’s self esteem by nurturing these 3 areas: 1. Helping them feel that they belong within their family. 2. Helping them feel that they can accomplish things. 3. Helping them feel they can contribute/cooperate in the family, in worthwhile ways. Becoming a healthy individual doesn’t happen overnight. Getting a good start during childhood is important. It’s one of the most vital gifts we give our kids…healthy self-esteem.

Taken in part from: webmd.com/guide/helping-your-child-develop-healthy-self-esteem From: Carol Cochard Pool, MSW, PCAIN Prevention Education Specialist

January is National Mentoring Month

A mentor is a caring, adult friend who devotes time to a young person. Although mentors can fill any number of different roles, all mentors have the same goal in common: to help young people achieve their potential and discover their strengths. Mentors should understand they are not meant to replace a parent, guardian or teacher. A mentor is not a disciplinarian or decision maker for a child. Instead, a mentor echoes the positive values and cultural heritage parents and guardians are teaching. A mentor is part of a team of caring adults. A mentor's main purpose is to help a young person define individual goals and find ways to achieve them. Since the expectations of each child will vary, the mentor's job is to encourage the development of a flexible relationship that responds to both the mentor's and the young person's needs. By sharing fun activities and exposing a youth to new experiences, a mentor encourages positive choices, promotes high self-esteem, supports academic achievement, and introduces the young person to new ideas. In joining a formal mentoring program, you will probably be asked to go through an application process. As part of that process, you will need to supply personal and professional references, perhaps have a background check performed, and complete a personal interview. Also, remember that the role of a mentor comes with substantial responsibilities so you will be required to take part in an orientation and training. Throughout the duration of your mentoring relationship, be sure to seek support from the program coordinator. Mentoring Settings Each mentoring program is different. So are the locations and settings within which a mentoring relationship can develop. Mentors and young people may find that their relationship begins by participating in a variety of activities. Depending on the type of mentoring program — and the program's rules and regulations — a mentoring pair may go to the park or a museum, participate in sports or do some other activity where they can get to know each other better. Mentors and mentees might also meet at the child's school once a week where they could talk, play games or work on school assignments together. Take a look at some of the different settings where mentoring occurs. In the community • Community-based mentoring offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults. • Takes place outside of specific sites: going to the movies, going to a park, etc. • Can include tutoring, career exploration, life skills development, game playing and going to sports, entertainment or cultural events. • Typically asks the mentor for a commitment of at least one year. In schools • Mentoring in schools can have a significant impact on the dropout rate among high school students. • Offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults. • Takes place at school, either during or immediately after school hours. • Can include tutoring, game playing and sports. • Typically asks the mentor for a commitment of at least one school year. In the faith-based community • Faith-based mentoring has a long tradition of instilling spiritual values and moral strength, putting faith into practice. • Offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults. • Takes place in a house of worship and reflects the values and beliefs of that religion. Typically occurs after school hours and/or on weekends. • Can include career exploration, life skills development, game playing and going to sports, entertainment or cultural events. • Can serve young people from the congregation and/or from the local community. In businesses • Today, more and more companies are starting mentoring programs to help the young people who live in the communities where the companies do business. • Offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults. • Takes place at the work site. • Can include tutoring, job shadowing, career exploration and role playing. • Typically asks the mentor for a commitment of at least one school year. E-mentoring • E-mentoring takes place via the Internet and allows mentors and mentees to develop their relationship by exchanging messages online. • Makes mentoring available to mentors and young people who otherwise might not be able to meet easily because of time or travel constraints. • Helps young people learn more about high-tech communications and improve their writing skills. • Offers young people the chance to develop a relationship with one or more adults. (Some programs have a group of adults who mentor a group of young people. For instance, a group of engineers might advise an entire classroom of students.) • Offers young people a great way to find out about potential careers. • Enables young people to work with mentors on special projects. A mentor may help a young person: • Plan a project for school; • Set career goals and start taking steps to realize them; • Make healthy choices about day-to-day life, from food to exercise and beyond; and • Think through a problem at home or school. To be a mentor, you don't need special skills, just an ability to listen and to offer friendship, guidance and encouragement to a young person. And you'll be amazed by how much you'll get out of the experience. For more information about mentoring resources, visit mentoring.org.

Appreciation

As we just celebrated the legacy of Martin Luther King, we think about the messages he imparted on a generation. These messages are valuable to children, families, and communities. As we were contemplating the title of this blog, the word “tolerance” was suggested. A co-worker correctly pointed out however, that we should not just be “tolerant”, but rather appreciative of others…their differences, their uniqueness, their strengths, and their foibles. Now that the holidays are over and the “winter” doldrums have really arrived, it’s more important than ever to remember families and remember that there are many who continue to need support and appreciation. Those attributes should not just occur during the holiday season, but most especially now, as we celebrate a man who believed in justice, forgiveness, peace, and most importantly…appreciation.

Getting Organized

Millions of people choose “Getting Organized” as a New Year Resolution. We all know that most resolutions are logical but usually die a slow, quiet death. It is not the resolution that’s at fault – it’s the follow through that we just can’t handle. As January winds down, so do motivation, energy and the desire for change. In my opinion, if you are going to get organized, the first thing to think about is organizing your ‘time’ Successful people know that to get ahead, they must plan, set priorities and always follow through. In the process they develop systems that work for them. The reward is some peace of mind and some extra time to do other things you want. Determine whether you are really disorganized or just have a unique style of organization that looks messy to other; for example, there may be piles of files covering your desk, but you can find any item you need in a moment. If you spend more than five minutes looking for the things you need, (your keys, the remote control, books, etc) then, your disorganization is interfering with your productivity. 1. Have a goal. Take personal charge to change. Translate your resolution into small daily steps. Distinguish between your goal and the acts necessary to reach the goal. It’s the step-by-step changes each day, each week, that carry a resolution to fruition. 2. Write down your priorities. Resolutions evaporate because they’re not written down or shared with an accountability partner. Ask yourself “What is the best use of my time right now?” 3. Become accountable. Share your resolution with a trusted friend or family member. They can help you celebrate, analyze failure, and provide a hefty dose of motivation. 4. Tap to Online-Resources or use a Computer Program for references. There are several resources to help and inspire with any kind of resolution, whether it’s diet, or clutter. In your quest for organization, if all else fails, hire somebody to help you through the process!! Submitted by Dee Mazza, PCAIN Prevention Presentation Coordinator